Wow, I'm not sure I've ever made a list quite like this. I guess it's sort of an anti-wife list, in a way, as in the qualities about myself (at least the potential ones that I can find) that prevent me from finding a spouse. (I know I know, it's up to God to reveal the right one at the right time...but play along with me here.) Now, I'll make it clear that...I don't mean to make anyone feel awkward with this list. I mean, sometimes brutal honesty is avoided at all costs, for obvious reasons. And in this case, I don't want any of you readers to feel singled out or any such thing. But, even though I write this somewhat in jest (a little), I really do wonder about these issues, and I am afraid that I won't get any truly serious responses. I guess I really would like honest feedback on these issues, tough as it may be to take. And of course if you respond in any way to this, it's not implying anything about whether you're "interested" in me or not....You can generalize these sayings to say something like, "Well, this may not relate to me, but I can see in your life that...." (I wish I could devise a way for you to respond to this anonymously if you wanted to...maybe I'll work on that someday.) So it's not just about significant others, it could also be titled the "Joe Self Betterment Survey", strange as it may sound to write a survey with such personal content. So with those thoughts in mind....

Here's a survey for you. Please select all of the choices below that relate to why you are not willing or able to be interested in me (Joe) as a significant other:

• I don't even know you. Duh.
• I am a guy. Duh.
• I am married. Duh.
• I am in a relationship with someone else.
• I am fasting from relationships to further my relationship with God (aka I'm waiting for God to reveal "the one" before getting involved).
• You are not committed enough to God.
• You are too sold out for God.
• We live in different geographical areas, and neither of us is willing to move.
• You don't talk enough.
• You talk too much.
• You gossip too much.
• You look funny.
• You smell funny.
• You make a mess when you eat (or, you eat like a pig).
• Your glasses are so 80s!
• Your taste in music is so old-school!
• I'm afraid that if I did something that upset you I'd read about it on your web page.
• You and I differ too deeply in our beliefs about God.
• You are too opinionated.
• You never take a stand on anything.
• You let people use you too much.
• You are too pessimistic.
• You have a short temper.
• You care too much about your work.
• You care too much about computers.
• You spend too much time on the computer, and I'm afraid I would take second place to it.
• You are too informal, too flippant.
• You are too cheap (frugal).
• You like trains too much.
• You like hot air balloons too much.
• You talk about the same dumb topics all the time (including computers, trains, bikes, hot air balloons, and/or random philosophical topics).
• You don't like sports I like, like basketball, golf, softball, or swimming.
• I can't understand what you're talking about much of the time.
• I don't care about what you're talking about much of the time.
• You're nice, but you make too many dumb jokes.
• You make me laugh, and the class clown never gets the girl.
• You sing too much.
• You sing too much, and you can't sing.
• You are too self-centered.
• You like girl movies too much (you know, the sappy ones that girls like and typical guys can't stand).
• You are not willing to sacrifice for others.
• You aren't a good listener.
• You always try to fix my problems rather than just listen and empathize.
• You never asked me.
• You are crazy because you write surveys like this.
• Um, I have to wash my cat (if you can't find anything else that fits, you can choose this one).
• Other: __________________________________________